Who I Is

I hate it when people use bad grammar for attention.

I should, clearly, have said: Who I ARE. 

I'm just tired. It's before seven in the morning, and I am sleepy enough to think that is funny. When writing the opening entry for a shiny, new blog (to see the wrinkly, old blog, go here), it seems reasonable to admit to who you may or may not be. Only, I get very nervous about self-revelation because I hate to say I am this because sometimes I also want to be that.

How about a list?

1. I am female 

There. One true thing about me. I am female. I self-identify as female. I other-identify as female.

2. I like to read*

*Also true. I also like to listen, talk, and write.

3. I have children

4. I like my children

5. I am married

One would assume I would now list "6. I like my husband," but I like to keep him guessing.

7. I sleep on buckwheat pillows

They are fabulous. They may be hard and heavy, but I like them and I always win pillow fights.

8. I like to sit on my porch steps

9. I believe in fairies

10. I have had a tan one time

11. I am a four on the Enneagram, which makes me special and unique

12. I use the Oxford comma, begrudgingly. That is not an Oxford comma. 

13. I homeschool

14. I have tomatoes growing in my mulched, landscaped area because the weeds in my official garden area are taller than I am

15. I am average size

I mention that as a reference point for the weeds.

16. I like stars

17a. I couldn't navigate my way to the mailbox with them

17b. I have never spent the whole night under them

17c. I saw one fall this morning

I know that it wasn't a star that fell. That is a truly boring criticism on a, clearly, unscientific treatise on the me-ness of I. It was mean spirited to imply that I actually thought a star fell out of the sky. Say you're sorry. Thank you.

18. I have a dog

I also have a snake and two frogs, but those are for educational purposes. The dog has no purpose.

19. I drive a silver minivan

So do you? No way! I am so sorry that my kids got fingerprints all over it the other day at the park. We really did think it was ours. 

20. I live in the mountains

Not those absurd high mountains. I live in reasonable mountains. Mountains that are perfect for mist and tea. Misty. HA! Sorry. 

Ok. That's me. I am pretty sure I didn't leave anything out. If I did, feel free to write it down, numbered appropriately, on a grain of rice and send it to me via owl.