Is AND Possible?

I am writing a book. 

Everyday, from two in the afternoon until three in the afternoon, I work on a manuscript of a book that will describe my experience of living missionally from the cul de sac. I explain the theological stance of living intentionally in an unintentional community. It's going to be great.

Only.

I am also the mother of four.

Today at 2:01 I was having a spirited discussion about the reason I do not allow my children to use media and eat at the same time. At 2:26 I was checking a math assessment. At 2:34 I liberated my nap-striking toddler. At 2:36 I read her Ollie the Stomper again. Now it is 2:52 and I am sitting in my office wondering if AND is possible.

Can I be a mother AND a writer? Can I be a home educator AND a theologian? Can I listen to my child AND share my voice?

Or must I live with OR?

The balance is hard.

The work takes longer.

The house stays messier. 

The words and the children must learn to be patient.

And I, too, must learn to be patient.

I am a pilgrim on a long road. A road that will teach me what is important and what can wait. A road that flows under my feet at a jog or a stumble. A road I will walk down at a toddler's slow and erratic pace.

But AND looks like planning and hoping and trying and, foolishly, recklessly, trying again.